I want to have a baby very badly, I am not getting any younger. The man that I want to marry and have the child with says that he is going to get a divorce and he and I will have a child together. I am concerned because rather than move forward he is drinking more each day. Every time I talk to or see him, he has been drinking. He has reassured me that will stop when he is divorced and we are officially together. I want to be with him, and I want to believe that he WILL be clean and sober when we begin our lives together. I pray for this every day, why isn't it happening?
-Praying for resolution.
Thank you for your question. Alcoholism is a serious subject, especially when you are considering having a child with one. He will need some real support to stop drinking. Blaming it on his marriage and current wife is an excuse and a lack of accountability.
You are blessed that the NO is firmly in place, for you do not want to become the scapegoat as his next wife. He did not stop for his current wife, and the only motivation will come from him wanting to clean up his life.
Having a child with him, and being legally and genetically bound to him will be challenging unless he makes some serious life changes. Knowing that he does have an addiction and bringing a child into the world to an alcoholic father and an over compensating mother is not right in any event. Please do not enable him to continue this pattern of addiction. Having a dry house is advisable. When you are together, no drinking, not even a sip of wine or beer. Nothing. If he wants to be with you now or even later on when he may or may not get divorced, he does not drink or abuse any substance.
I would also look at why you were drawn to him. Perhaps there was addiction either known or unknown in your own family tree. You and he both have work to do to see why you were drawn together. Enablers and addicts are commonly drawn together and rarely with a happily ever after. Having a child with him would only make things worse.
The NOs you have been receiving are to get you to stop, think, and stand strong in what you know is the truth and right action. Your Angels and the Divine are looking out for you, Dear Heart. Your prayers are heard!
You deserve someone that is clean, sober, and free to be with you in all regards.
In Divine Love,