The Garden Oracle Speaks
I would like to address some frequent messages from Spirit rather than a question this week.
Many of the calls that come in are associated with romance, from everyone from 18 – 80, and it is all too often the same issue:
LACK OF CONFIDENCE IN THE SELF.
Many of our beloved clients who call in are in what I would call strongly professional careers. They are successful because they follow their instincts and know how to work within the system and out of the system in order to achieve and maintain success.
Surprisingly these same bright and competent individuals can become like boy or girl in elementary school when it comes to romance. So little stock has been placed in personal and emotional development that the trend is to go with what they know. If they grew up with a Mother that was ignored and emotionally abused, that is on a subconscious level what they are comfortable with and will seek out in a partner.
By way of example (not based on an actual person, rather a composite of callers):
Janie is mid 40’s, and a successful CEO with an established company in the hospitality industry. When it comes to work, she is spot on and has no doubt that she is making the right decisions. The man of her affections does not always return them in ways that are significant to her, and does in fact, ignore her needs the majority of the time. They have been dancing this pattern of her over-giving and him taking for more than 4 years now. They have broken up and reunited more than a dozen times, usually due to Janie maintaining communication with Joe (even though he does not return calls, emails, or text messages.
The calls consist of something like this:
“Why won’t he tell me that he misses me? Will he ever tell his parents about me? What is he thinking about me right this moment?
Why does he say he will call and then ignore me for weeks at a time? Will he ever be serious about me? Why doesn’t he ask about my day as I ask about his? Does he even care how my day is going? Why doesn’t he want to live together? I am not even asking for marriage! I would walk away, but I have too much invested in us!”
My heart breaks with each of these calls for I offer Divine Truth each time and yet, Janie finds herself right back on that hamster wheel…going nowhere fast.
In order to be with a loving an attentive partner and have them take you seriously, please be confident in yourself. Do not lose yourself in the relationship. Please do consider to be thoughtful of your beloved, but do not give so much that you lose your passion for your life in the process.
What I have told Janie numerous times in different ways is simply this:
Give him room to reciprocate.
Take your relationship out from underneath the microscope.
Do not give up your preferences simply because he may not like them.
Every time you feel yourself obsessing about him, immediately move your thoughts towards something healing.
Joe can feel when you are coming across as needy, so stand strong in your confidence as a woman.
Spend time with friends that support whom you are as an individual.
Share your day, rather than texting or calling with overly emotional messages (i.e. I love you, I miss you, Did you miss me?, When will I see you again?, Why didn’t you call me this weekend? Do you ever think about me?, Do you ever think about us?) Try this instead: Dear Joe, Had a great day fishing with friends on the charter boat. The weather was perfect and my sister caught the salmon of the day!
Cultivate friendships with other healthy and happily paired couples; spend time with them as a couple.
If Joe continues to ignore you, it may be time to walk away from him. Heal your heart and the patterns that create this sense of “need” rather than “want” in terms of a relationship, and above all learn to be happy alone, for that can be the greatest way to attract a healthy romantic situation.
Remember, Dear Ones, that the most important relationship that you can foster is with yourself. You are worth the effort and time.
It is when you are confident and have faith, that you are in Divine Flow and maintaining healthy boundaries. Step away from being romantically “needy” and offer unconditional love and acceptance to each other.
Question for THE GARDEN ORACLE SPEAKS? Please write to Razzi at:
All names and circumstances will be changed, and answers will be posted on our website and Facebook Page.