I am a successful business woman with a thriving company, I love my work, and I will admit that I work 12 - 14 hours days at least 2-3 days a week. I am driven to success not only for myself, but the employees who count on me for their livelihood and the support of their families.
My personal life is a mess. The man I am engaged to marry is equally driven, and we have been biting each other's heads off when he and I both come home from work. I would walk away right now, but we already have everyone expecting that we will get married near the end of 2016.
To make matters worse, I am pregnant with my first child, in my second trimester, trying to get all that I can done before the baby is born. This would be my first marriage.
He has been divorced for less than a year, which also has me feeling like this is at best a rebound relationship. The pregnancy was unplanned, and our decision to get married was based on this. (that and some pressure from his family!)
The stress of my job, the pregnancy, and an impending wedding (which at this point feels like a death sentence) is more than I can bear. We own a home together, another error on my part, for I could have purchased it on my own, and several vehicles. Our lives are knotted together, and it would take several months to come to a successful resolution of the assets. Every time I have tried to work with the wedding planner, I get a blinding migraine, another red flag!
I would rather be alone as a single parent, than live in a home where there is nearly constant conflict and arguments. I cannot confide in any of my friends or family because I do not want to taint my professional image.
Should I get the attorney and walk away now? I am normally clear headed, but I would appreciate your candor and honesty.
Dear Executive Decisions,
Thank you for your email and for sharing this as candidly as you did. I can feel how upset you are by all that is happening, and see that you are handling it better than you imagine!
It is not at all uncommon to be successful in business and have your home life in a shambles. For every career woman this is a potential occupational hazard. Having to balance between both worlds and to be in a demeaning relationship at home is especially challenging being pregnant! Being pregnant is no reason to wed, you can easily co-parent and work things prior to the birth of your child.
Honestly, Dear Heart, call off the wedding, cut the ties, and buy him out of his half of the house.
Divide the assets, and contact a top notch attorney that can help hammer out a custody agreement and child support before the baby is born.
There is no shame in walking away, you could marry this man and continue to invest in a relationship that is likely to go even further downhill after marriage. If he has one failed marriage under his belt, the second one statistically has an even slimmer chance of success.
It does not matter what his or your family thinks for this is YOUR life! It is clear that you do not really need him financially, and most certainly, this is the true definition of a toxic relationship. The hard part will be separating the assets. Please also, get some counseling before you choose to start dating again or walk into another relationship. You are in a vulnerable emotional place, and now have the added consideration of a child when dating a potential mate.
Remember that every child is a blessing, and surely this will be one of the most joyful relationships in your life.
Please call if you need support. You will find the strength you need to walk out of the highly toxic situation.
In Divine Love,