,It is a joy to connect to you in this healing space we share together, we come together for the purpose of lifting each other up. Each of you is such a blessings, and I celebrate you!
I feel called to talk about The Fixer Upper Relationship. This is where you come in and play rescuer! Offering someone a place to live and take care of them until they are on their feet, financial support, and wanting to solve their emotional problems as nobody has ever really understood them.What we are really saying is that you are becoming a caregiver in a romantic relationship. You are essentially becoming a full time nurse!
When it is in the context of addiction, or being with someone that is emotionally/mentally unstable, this is particularly challenging. It takes all of your time and energy to manage not only your life, but theirs.The attraction that you feel is not based on a healthy and reciprocal romantic relationship, but one in which you, as the rescuer, feel empowered by the difference you can make in their life. It takes away from focusing on your own growth and evolution, and fills a void within you that helps you to feel that you are not "broken" yourself. Remember the law of attraction: Like attracts like. People are, in fact, no broken, but out of balance.
So if you are attracted to someone that is dire need, has their life filled with drama, speaks about their crazy exes, or demonstrates stability issues (runs hot and cold, or whose behavior is erratic), you are attracted to Fixer Upper Relationships. This does fill a need of sorts, which is making you "feel" needed. It can temporarily fill that void that you carry within you from being a good girl or good boy, seeking acceptance and even praise that you may not have gotten growing up, Love and being a good girl or good boy were bundled together, "I love you, you are such a good girl or a good boy. " This part of you craves to feel loved, for the love that you may have received was conditional. If you fulfill this list of requirements that your family had for you, you would possiblly get the validation that you needed (albeit only temporarily satiating).
So you and I carry this with us as adults, looking for the same good boy or good girl conditional validation we desperately wanted to receive to feel loved, you and I will most certainly seek this out if this part of us has not gone through deep and transformational healing. A healing where you face yourself honestly, lovingly, and with the determination to clear this conditional energy from your life, replacing it with unconditional self love and awareness.This is where serial dating, and why people marry and divorce so many times.
When the love they thought they had becomes toxic, they flee the relationship and jump into another one that is likely to be even more dissatisfying than the previous one!
Let us liken a romantic relationship to house or structure:
If you build your home on a poor foundation, you will have issues with the house being plumb and at strong angles. The first earthquake or windstorm are likely to incur damage, for the house is not based on solid parallel structure. You want your home to be your nest, the safe place that you can relax, restore, and connect to those that you love. An unconditional charging pad so you have a thriving and vibrant life in all regards.
The Taj Mahal, a loving tribute to a wife well loved, is a strong, beautiful, and opulent testament to a husband's undying devotion. It has stood the test of time since it's completed in 1653. 365 years ago!
A romantic relationship built on unconditional love, reciprocity, empathy (versus rescuer), and 100% commitment is like the Taj Mahal. It is strong enough to stand the test of time, retaining it's beauty and integrity. Nothing can shake this love, not even death.
It is when you have really loved and been loved, that it becomes part of your chi, part of your energy, and is in your bones and your skin. It is part of you forever, and will nourish you for the rest of your life.
To have even one relationship like this is to know the love that the Mughal Emporer, Shah Jahan, had for his favorite wife Mumtaz Mahal. She was loved, and you and I can bear witness to their love today, as will generations past us.
Let's you and I dive deep, and heal the places in our lives that need addressing. Let us learn to love ourselves and to know with absolute certainty that we are loved and worthy to be loved. Let us have relationships from a place of one hand reaching out to the other, and two hearts connecting in unconditionally loving reciprocity.Let us create monuments to this love, so we leave a legacy of such magnitude, that it's beauty will be looked upon with awe and amazement for many years to come.
Reside in love always, Dear Ones. I love you and I believe in you.
In Divine Love and Truth,