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The Garden Oracle Speaks:  To Marry or Not to Marry?

3/31/2016

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The Garden Oracle Speaks:
An entirely free intuitive advice column. Floral images courtesy and with the permission of Tway Huynh.

Dear Garden Oracle,
I am a few months from finishing my Master's Degree. My boyfriend proposed to me last spring, and I said yes. We agreed to wait until he and I had both finished or post graduate studies before getting married. There is no rush as we do not want children. My family has already accepted him as son-in-law, brother-in-law, and cousin. I have been told that I am essentially a plus one until we are legally married by his family. The expectation from them is that I will take his last name. He and I have agreed that I will retain my maiden name as it would be a huge hit to my career.
The lack of family support, along with the laundry list of expectations from them, not my fiance, has me feeling uneasy.
I waiver between wanting to be married and we don't need a legal commitment to be spiritually legitimate.
My fiance does want to be legally married. I don't want to let him down. I already feel like an outsider and get treated like one. Should I marry him or not? Will the family ever be supportive of us as a couple, especially if I retain my maiden name?

-Two Options
Dear Two Options,
Thank you for your email. I want to validate for you that you are right to question going into a marriage with this dissonance! Your intuition is telling you to stop and wait. 
You and your fiance are the ones that are at the helm here. As long as you have the understanding that you will stand up for the relationship, including the choice to retain your birth name, you two will be just fine. Please don't put his family in the middle of your relationship, which is surely built on trust, unconditional love, support, and equality. 
This is between you and he. If you and he stand together, with him saying that you come as a
pair, and by
rejecting you, they reject him, you will eventually have their support.
If you don't stand strong, they will steam roll over you in other areas. 
This is the celebration and coming together of the beautiful trust and love that you and he have together. 
Do what you two feel is best for you, and do not let anybody take away the joy and certainty that you feel with one another!

I do see a long and happy marriage, unconventional in many ways, but it works for the two of you. That is all that matters.
You have a phenomenal relationship and will have the marriage that people in his family will come to respect over time. This happens with firm understandings between you and your future husband. As long as these agreements are in place, you and he will be happily married for the rest of your lives.
I wanted to add, too, that I was being shown that you both love to travel. I do see a destination wedding for you with your two best friends as well. Start your married life with people that love and support you unconditionally.
You can always have a reception for his family, but something in keeping with your optimal timing.
Congratulations and great happiness to you both!
In Divine Love,
Razzi

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Communication in Relationships:  Strive for consistency & accept the differences!

3/30/2016

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One of the most common themes in relationship readings is regarding communication.  More from women than men by about 80%!

It is very common to have two completely, and often times, polar opposite communication styles in a romantic pairing.

There will be the communicator:  Needs  or wants regular text messages, phone calls, and is the social butterfly of the couple. Usually the one to send out the Holiday and Birthday cards, and keeps the social calendar for the couple/family. Not necessarily the organized one, but does receive reassurance that everything is going well through reciprocated energy.  In the communicators eyes, send a text message, get one of equal content back.

Actions more than words:  This person in the relationship will consolidate text messages.  For every few that that receive, they will respond with one.  Their need is in receiving, as in actions speak louder than words.  Chances are, they are great when it comes to career and business, but fall quite short in their personal and romantic sector.  They tend to show how they feel via action, not words nor communications.  Action is a form of communication!

There are definitely combinations and hybrids in between, but there is usually a distinct difference in the coupling when it comes to styles.

The Challenge:

The communicator needs to hear that they are loved and cared for by their partner/spouse.  This need is so powerful that it can build up some pretty deep resentment, if over time, their needs are not met.  This can be followed by a growing fear, anxiety, and uncertainty that they are loved and valued.  The less their romantic partner gives, the greater the resentment, anger, and then keeping track of "I did this and you did that" occurs.



The action person in the relationship may not understand the neediness of the communicator.  In their eyes they have said I love you, and everything is okay once that week, so surely they MUST know how I feel about them.  They can get frustrated and begin to flag in their efforts to demonstrate their love through action, and not have that validated.  In fact, they may feel that the communicator is all words, and not meeting their currency in the least!   They want to see they are loved, for that is what they offer out.  Saying I love you to the action oriented person, is less meaningful that picking up their favorite latte and bringing it home to them.  

How to bridge the gap:

Accept each other as you are, for they are the same person with whom you grew to love!   While you were in your courtship and dating phases, you both put your best energy forward and actively tried to meet the other's needs.  As you became more comfortable in the relationship, you began to demonstrate your style and your currency (what makes you feel validated).  

Your romantic partner has not really changed, they are showing what they are needing in the form that they offer it out to you.


If you would like to identify your and your partner's currencies this book is a great read:
The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts  by Gary D Chapman, Moody Publishers


Embrace the fact that you are different and that these qualities attracted you to one another!   
Entering the relationship you did not have the unhealthy expectation to "change or mold them" to what you wanted.
These differences can make your relationship more dynamic and keep things fresh and interesting.

Schedule a time to talk about what you are each needing, set the time for 10 -15 minutes each, where you each express what is meaningful to you and how you most appreciate the it being expressed.  Try letting the ACTION oriented partner go first, for they will lose interest the quickest in the process.  Really listen to one another without interruption.
Make the agreement that you will both do your best to ensure that each of your needs is being met a certain number of times a week or an overall percentage of the time.  Now follow through with this new understanding.

One of my families favorite sayings:  
"Love shows up!"

Specifically, you may not understand your partner's currency of love being demonstrated through action, but it IS a perfectly acceptable form of love.
You may not understand why the communicator needs consistent reassurance through phone conversations, text messages, emails, cards, and letters, but again, it IS a viable need or desire.

Have the message that resides between you be "We embrace our differences and accept one another unconditionally."


When they do meet your need, let them know how much it meant to you, with the most appreciated form of reciprocity.


In my own family tree I am the communicator, my partner represents Action, my kids represent shared experience as in travel/time spent together/receiving cards and gifts ( I have 3 kids!).  My Mother was Communication, my Father Action,
my sibling being active (as in sports).  We have more than one currency, but we each have one dominant one.

Let us each celebrate the differences, and make the most of them.  We might even learn from each other and grow!

Thank you for making SBP blog part of your day. You are respected and appreciated. Please feel free to share it with those in need of hope and healing.  It is freely offered and joyfully shared.

I love you and I believe in you.

In Divine Celebration of our Differences,
Razzi <3




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SET ASIDE THE WHEN!  ASKING THE DIVINE THE RIGHT QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OWN EVOLUTION.

3/25/2016

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Picture
.Message of the Day from SBP:
Feeling the heavy energy of this morning, laden with anxiety, and filled with the question of WHEN, I feel called to address timelines,
As a reader for many years, and having a circle of gifted friends in the same circle, I feel prompted to share with you one of the biggest areas where each of us falls short when it comes to Divine Connection:

Asking for timelines.

If we are focused on a timeline, rather than being in present time, seizing the day, and seeing the many gifts of the Divine around us, we are missing the boat! We are missing the plethora of opportunities for growth around us, we are missing new and edifying friendships or the chance to build trust in an established one, we are just plain missing chances to evolve and grow!

Spirit has shared with me, and my fellow readers, that asking for timelines shuts out the messages that are waiting for you. It may be a message about a new career, upcoming marriage proposal, finding your dream home, finding a new Spiritual home, getting into your University of choice, or connecting with a loved one that has crossed and is around you. 

We are missing out!
We are asking limiting questions!

When we are focused on when! when!! when!!! when!!!! when!!!!!, we are not open to Divine insight that is meant for each of us. We get so anxious over the WHEN that it begins to deteriorate the quality of our lives, and begins to create pathologies like insomnia, headache, and depression/anxiety. It stimulates insecurities, and drags our energy down to the base emotions! Abraham Hicks and Ralph Smart address this quite clearly in their work.

Life is far too precious, Dear Ones, to waste on anger, fear, frustration, depression, guilt, and anxiety. That is exactly where asking for timelines leads us.

I understand the need for security and the desire to have firm answers about the future. When we have more that one person involved in any given situation, it goes from an element to a compound energy. The recipe changes, thus changing the timeline. Spirit has asked me to share this, for they do not want you to be disappointed. If you are expecting one timeline and the actions of even one person involved shift, so does the timeline.

If we can go with the flow, and stay focused in the present, we can catch these nuances and flow with them. If we are focused on a certain outcome, and it has changed, we will feel unhappy and discontent. Often times, things change for the better, and we are so concentrated on the future, that we have missed it entirely.

Liken this to a Divine video game. In this game we have to collect gold coins along our journey, filling up a specific number of bags. If our energy is too far ahead of the game, we will not pass onto the next levels of the game, for we have missed the gold coins that have been along side us the entire level of the game.

What you can do is to control your own actions, follow and cultivate your clear intuition, have a life filled with calm and confident energy, and work on your part of the equation.

Ask not for the WHEN, but for the healing answers, actions, and messages from the Divine. Step away from the timeline, Dear Ones! It does not serve you. Your life is not a single script, it is a script that is being written as you move throughout your life.

Enjoy each moment, and have gratitude. Let us each live a life overflowing with a rich reality!
Enjoy the journey Dear Ones, enjoy the journey!

 In Trust of Divine Timing, 
​Razzi <3



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Spirit Blossoms Message of the day:  Our Restless Spring Equinox Energy!

3/17/2016

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Spirit Blossoms Message of the Day:
Spring is definitely in the air! Energy is ramping up, and even the animals are restless. With the recent blood around the moon on Tuesday, drama is freely flowing around us. Blood around the moon is connected to Hecate and the moon. It is said in mythology that she reins in the hounds from hell. Certainly though, it feels like the reins have gone a bit slack lately.

This morning, I was working at correcting and updating an online issue and the customer service representative was even feeling a bit testy! I asked her a question, very politely, and got "I am busy!" I did thank her at the end and wished her a day filled with many blessings, though, in hopes that the energy of her day would turn around. Always send a blessing forth when confronted with unsettled energy, very calming without giving your power away.

If you are having communications disconnects right now, that is consistent with the restless Spring Equinox energy, that drive for freedom and getting away from things that are holding us back.

If you are in a relationship that has been drifting apart, this energy will definitely reveal whether or not you are meant to be together romantically, or part ways as friends. If you are in a relationship in which you have been growing closer, this could lead to a renewal of vows, second honeymoon, or even a proposal of marriage!

If you are waiting for a letter or confirmation of information, you may have to do something kinesthetic and work it off. Delays are expected right now, so please be patient with those around you and don't push. Pushing will only aggravate things further and that can open the door to disagreements that may cause permanent damage in your friendships, family & work affiliations.

Remember, Dear Ones, reside in love each moment. This is a great time to walk or go to the gym and burn off the excess CHI, and bring your own energy into a calm and grounded state.

Thank you for reading and sharing SBP! 

I love you and I believe in you!
​

With gratitude for you,
Razzi
<3
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WHAT IS BEAUTY?  

3/16/2016

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I felt drawn today to talk about beauty.  Beauty is not the exterior state of our being, rather the exterior is a reflection of the interior.  I was told by a wise woman many years ago that the reason that women age well and become more beautiful with time is a reflection of the state of their soul.  When you and I see people that are not aging well, it is because the cultivation of their lives has predominantly been being attractive on the outside.  

The most beautiful people I am blessed to have in my life have spent their entire lives meditating, connecting to nature, and cultivating kindness and compassion.

I see the energy of their soul, heart, and mind, backed up by their actions, and the radiance that follows in their countenance.

I loved my Grandmother's hands and used to tell her that they were beautiful.  She would laugh and say that if I found arthritis attractive, they must be the prettiest hands I had ever seen!  I saw in her hands all the loving efforts for her children, grandchildren, and husband.  I saw hands etched with nothing but love and dedication.  

I see beautiful people everywhere I go, and will stop and say, "you look lovely, I wanted you to know."  The radiant smile that comes to their face says it all, and I know that I have made a small difference in their lives in that moment.

The other day, a friend of mine said that she felt tired, haggard, and worn out.  What I witnessed in her was her eyes filled with love, and the small kindnesses that she shared with everyone around her wherever she goes!   

Beauty comes from a cultivated heart, and a mind that is free of toxic thinking.  Thinking, "I hate you" will change your appearance to someone that is hard and callous if done so long term.  Thinking negative things about yourself will cause your body to age prematurely, rather than with grace.  Giving people rude gestures when driving will also drag you down!  There are ways to express challenging issues without the use of obscene and vulgar manifestation.

Dear Ones,  embrace unconditional love!  This does NOT mean that you are a doormat, you can still speak your mind,
you can still say NO and YES.  You can still be a strong person, not giving your energy nor power over to other people.

Residing in love simply means that you have learned to express your life in ways that do not cause major harm to others.

If you can see something beautiful in everyone you meet, and share it with them in a way that resonates with them, they will pay it forward. Then the next person will pay it forward, and so on!  What a world we can be living in, Dear Ones, where beauty is NOT defined by fashion magazines, our size or weight, or status in life.

Join me in seeking something beautiful in every person you see, and share it with them.  Do this 10 times a day.  The returns are overwhelming!  You are in a way, offering gratitude for every person you meet.  You are living in Divine Flow.  You embody love.

I love you and I believe in you.

Thank you for making my blog part of your day.  You are respected and appreciated.  


Like what you see?   Please share this with your friends, co-workers, and family!

In Divine Love and Celebration,
Razzi <3 
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THE GARDEN ORACLE SPEAKS: How to affectively  with entitled and immature people. 

3/9/2016

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Dear Garden Oracle,
I had a friend ask me to take find some information and post it to social media for them.  I did exactly as they asked, which they do acknowledge, but they are chewing me out for doing what they asked of me! Even though it was exactly what they wanted and they approved it, they are angry now.
I get an angry message today to delete the very information they begged me to post.  I am angry,  hurt, and feeling like cultivating friendship is a negative thing.  This is a friend that I have only had since late last year and I regret having put the energy into it that I have.  Do I keep them as a friend, tell them how I feel, or how do I process this.  I feel like a doormat.

-Doormat Girl

Dearest DG,
Thank you for your email.  I can feel your anger and frustration regarding the issue of this friendship.  I am so sorry that you are feeling so badly.

I sense that you would have done anything to get the approval of this friend for your own validation as a person.  So while their reaction was highly inappropriate and immature, the deeper issue is why you needed their approval.  Loneliness is a strong motivator for friendship, even if the friendship is toxic to you.  Make peace with yourself, Dear Heart, and let the immature actions and words of this "friend" roll off your back.  Plain and simple:  Do not accept their assignment of guilt simply because they changed their mind!

Put your energy into the relationships that are reciprocal in a positive way, Dear One.  Step away from negative reinforcement and into positive reinforcement.  Breathe, walk, journal, but get this out of your system.
Everyone reading this has felt this sometime or another in their lives and empathizes.  You are not the victim, you are stronger than you know.

Take this negative experience and learn from it.  What Wisdom have you gleaned from this "friend?"
How can you apply this Wisdom to future scenarios?   



Spirit is saying to please choose more wisely, and hold off investing yourself until you see or know their true character.

Fill your life with people that love, like, and respect you.  

Keep your chin up, you are in the clear.  Walk away from this "fake friend" who only wants to use you for what their own needs and as a scapegoat.  No experience is ever a waste, Dear Heart.  You have grown and evolved past this already.

In Divine Love,
Razzi <3
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FULL SOLAR ECLIPSE MARCH 8 - 9, 2016:  PEDAL TO THE METAL!

3/2/2016

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Today's message from SBP:
Dear Ones,
We have a lovely full solar eclipse in Pisces coming up March 8 - 9th, depending on where you live. The next one will not be for another 19 years! 
So what does this mean?

All of your subconscious processes, the feelings that you have been suppressing or repressing, anything that you have been putting to the side and saying "I will deal with it later!", will come to the surface. The energy of this is cleaning out the closets so we have room for that brand new wardrobe!
If you are feeling grumpy, edgy, tired, or easily provoked, this is precisely WHY you are feeling this way.
The closer you are to Libra, Pices, or Aries, the more that you will feel this.
I have been receiving this information for months, that this is the Universe taking the opportunity to do some spring cleaning before the Spring Equinox on March 21st. That is also what astrologers use as the beginning of their calendar due to this powerful time.
I have been feeling this energy for months and find that I am compelled to speak my truth, even if it causes some conflict. Conflict is needed to shake up the status quo and to bring in a breath of fresh air. I have even been airing out the house when my husband is at work, so things feel fresh and clean.
I do suggest getting this energy out kinesthetically if you can, Dear Ones, for the strength of your feelings may likely sweep you off balance and leave you feeling like, what happened just now? (as well as those around you!)
The good news in all this? March 10 - 20th, we will have a window of time to plant or establish anything for which we feel passionately about. Want to transition jobs? Been on the fence about ending a relationship that has not worked for some time? Wanting to start a new fitness program? Looking to move to a new place or buy your first home? Thinking about starting a family? Want to finally ask out the guy/gal that you have a crush on? Want to go vegan?
You see where this is going Dear Ones! What is it you wish to enact, for this is the perfect time when everything lines up for you to accomplish your goals, or at least get them going.
This is not a time to be shy, but to put the pedal to the metal and give it your all. Do not hold back for we will not have this opportunity again for quite some time.
As for myself, I am implementing this precious 10 days. I am making changes in my life that I have been thinking about and planning for some time now.
Join me in the quest to shoot for the stars, letting your passion for your life resurface, and go for it!
I love you and I believe in you.
In Divine Empowerment,
Razzi
<3

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VERBALLY ABUSIVE ROOMMATE:  How do I get these words out of my head?

3/1/2016

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Dear Garden Oracle,
I am going through a difficult situation. I have a verbally abusive roommate that is constantly calling me stupid, and using four letter words every time we have to talk about anything. They are moving out and finding a new situation, finally! This has been going on for two years, and I made the mistake of getting romantically involved with them. When that went bad, and it did quickly, it has been like living in a war zone. To make matters worse, I covered their share of the rent while they were unemployed for over a year so they would not find themselves homeless. Their unemployment barely covered utilities and other expenses. I already know that I will never see repayment of the rent owed me, for I did not have them sign an agreement.

The words that they have said to me, stupid being the nicest, ring in my ears every time I think about or see them. I do not know how to process this. How do I get these words out of my head and move on?

-Four Letter Frenzy
Dear FLF,
Thank you for your email and question. I am so sorry for the pain that you are experiencing. I thank you for writing in for this is such a common problem in relationships in downward spiral that it needs to be addressed openly, and without any shame for what you have and are experiencing!

Verbal abuse is coupled with emotional abuse. First realize this:
Anybody that resorts to name calling and four letter words has the issue, or at the very least has a passive/aggressive, entitled point-of- view (as in I demand to be treated with respect even though I may not have garnered it). It is a sign of insecurity and the need to be the center of attention, even if that means it is through negative reinforcement.

As to the rent for a year issue:
You are right in letting it go. Without any sort of documentation or proof that you covered their rent, you really have no legal or financial recourse. Take this as an expensive lesson. Remember this every time that you feel the urge to rescue someone that is really looking for a free ride.
But let's stick to the positive side of this situation! 
*You have learned to look before you leap when getting romantically involved with a roommate.

*You will be more discerning in the future with whom you will choose to sign a lease with whom you will sublet a space.
​

*You know your value! More specifically, you already know that if you find yourself in a situation where this pattern reveals itself, you will disengage immediately.

Now as to how to get the four letter words and negative adjectives (undeserved) out of your head:
When you start to hear them coming through, acknowledge them.

Now realize that you did not deserve them and that you do not have to accept nor hear them again.
Replace the negative words with what you would have preferred to hear. Realize that nobody but yourself is in charge of how you feel about yourself...nobody.

Stand tall, be confident, know that you are a Divine Child and that you have the power to step away and disconnect from negative people in your life.

The last step is the hardest, Dear One:
Forgive your roommate for what they have done as much as you can each time that you recall the abuse. Realize that you do not have to accept the victim role, and BE empowered.
Send them a blessing or say a prayer for their well-being, and really mean every word.

When you send a blessing when you have had someone cursing you, it aids in healing you. It takes the negatively charged energy being directed towards you (they were more than likely angry at someone else to whom they could not express their rage, utilizing you as an energetic scapegoat), and the energy takes a 180 thanks to your efforts to intentionally utilize your personal alchemy (turning negative to positive).
The deeper issue, Dear One, is that you attracted this energy into your life. Take some time and begin to look at how you feel about yourself:
Do you feel loved and lovable?
Do you feel that you deserve happiness?
Do you deserve positive and reciprocal relationships?
Do you unintentionally set yourself up to be the scapegoat?
Does this tie into any familial relationship patterns (Dad yelling at Mom, etc...)?
Has this type of relationship occurred before in your life? If so when, at what ages?
Do you subconsciously sabotage yourself?
When is the last relationship or circumstance that positive reinforcement got as much attention as negative reinforcement?
Why do you feel the need to rescue people that are actually taking advantage of your kindness and compassionate nature?

Dear One, I would suggest that you work with someone that can help you address all of these points to begin to heal your life so you can begin to attract loving and kind people into your life.
I want you to know that you are loved, you deserve to be loved, you are beautiful inside and out, and you are much more powerful than you know.
I love you and I believe in you. Stand tall knowing that you ARE a Divine Child. There is only one of you in this vast Cosmos, and you bring something special to each day to all of us.
If I can be of further support, please call me, and let's walk through this together and see a positive and happier reality.
In Divine Love,
Razzi 
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    Author

    The Garden Oracle Speaks is a complimentary Intuitive Advice column by Razzi Lentz. Razzi has been claircognizant all of her life, bringing messages of hope and healing through channeled writings and works.


    Have a question you would like answered?  Please email Razzi at:
    Shirahz@spiritblossomspsychics.com


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