I love Wonder Woman, even to the extent that I drink my coffee from a Wonder Woman mug! I admire Diana Prince because she is capable in her career, AND she saves the world. Often times I wish for the Golden Lasso, where I could easily extract the truth in any given situation and really see to the root of OR what is the prime mover in people's movations. In my Wonder Woman world, I have amazon strength, philosopher wisdom, and impeccable timing. Even at the end of every episode of WW, she was respected and appreciated by those who may not have understood her before.
She can do all this and be incredibly sexy! Wow!
I often wondered, though, who her hero was in all this "saving of the world." Who had her back? Who brought her life balance?
In so many marriages and relationships, we have one larger than life, I have your back, and I am there in an instant when you need me. In romantic partnerships, all too often, one sits back and simply accepts and even expects this level of service and response from their husband or wife. Two people emerge: The Superhuman and the entitled.
This can flow into families and create huge inequities, where at some point or another, with the lack of reciprocity, the relationship and family can begin to fracture. The infidelity statistics reveal this truth, for when you are not getting it at home, and you are needing love and support, you will be tempted to step outside the relationship. Having someone ask how you are doing and what you are needing if they are outside the family home, and adding to that a physical attraction, is one of the many reasons that husbands/wives/significant others cheat on one another. This is merely a fraction of the downward spiral that leads to divorce.
For things to come back into balance, the Superhero needs to take off the uniform and permit everyone in the home to "step up" and learn to give AND receive. For the recipients that have been rescued for years, they need to see that the one doing the majority of the work and carrying the responsibility is probably feeling unsupported, fed up, and resentful at times. They need to learn to give.
When long term marriages fail, there is dual responsibility. Each party has contributed to the downfall of what in the beginning was a beautiful relationship.
Al anon talks about the hazards of co-dependency, and how enabling others is harmful to the entire family.
As an intuitive, about 85% of my consultations are about infidelity. I personally do not believe that it is right, even if your needs are not being met at home. Unless you have a prior agreement to have an "open relationship" and all parties are on the same page, then it is cheating.
One of my clients (whom has give me permission to share her story with some elements altered), was taking care of a disabled spouse, and many of her needs were not be filled, ranging from the physical to the emotional.
She met a man that was feeling neglected as well, both of them being in 20+ year marriages. Sally and Joe had a two year affair, even leaving the state to rendezvous. Joe had a spiritual awakening and made the decision to heal his marriage and come clean with his wife.
Remarkably, Joe and his wife were able to heal their marriage with counseling and reconnected to their cohesiveness as a couple. This time, though, Joe shared the years of feeling neglected, and his wife shared her feelings of being locked out of his life, and slowly they have been building a fulfilling marriage in every way.
Sally, however, is still hurting after nearly 3 years of having the affair end, and still hopes that Joe will come back to her and leave his wife. Out of respect for his wife, Joe cut all ties with Sally, and has had to block her on email, social media, and on his phone.
Not surprisingly, Sally is on dating websites and is seeing men other than her husband, hoping that she will get the same feeling that she felt with Joe.
Sally is heartbroken, and says that she will never get over Joe.
She would not have gotten involved had she known how badly this would end.
It would have been better for Sally to work on her marriage than to cheat, and to at the very least, ask her husband if he would go to couples therapy to work through these issues. Barring that, as a last resort, walking away, rather than harming two families (Sally and her husband have 4 kids and 5 grand children).
Dear Ones, if we support each other and ensure that the reciprocity and the distribution of responsibility is shared, life can be so much more joyful. Whether you are the superhero or the rescued, it is time for change!
Please be willing to look at your life and be willing to make the changes that the Divine is urging you to initiate. The happiness and success of your family depends upon it.
I love you and I believe in you.
In Divine Healing,