Bright Greetings Dear Ones.
Welcome to my new and returning readers. It is a pleasure to connect with you.
Happy Holidays to your and yours from all of us at Spirit Blossoms Psychics.
Swipe left or swipe right? These are two of the basic choices you have for app dating. You can now date "on the go" for lunch, dinner date, or Covid safe meet-and-greet.
Knowing what to write in your profile or even what to write to attract the right level of relationship you are seeking is challenging.
Adding profile pictures even more tricky!
LET'S START WITH HOW YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF:
Let's face it! You may need some assistance from your successful dating or married friends. Asking for the best aspects of your personality can be immensely helpful in knowing how to talk about yourself. Remember, that less can be more, you want to have that air of mystery, but reveal enough that those viewing you will want to talk to you and explore who you are in more depth.
This is not your resume! You are not applying for a job, you are looking for companionship, a relationship, or even someone with whom you can spend the holidays. List your education, and pertinent details in facts, not in your profile paragraph.
Be appropriate for the level of connection you are seeking. If what you are asking for is companionship with physical benefits and not a strong emotional connection, keep it light, fun, and playful. Be aware that if you DO start to cultivate feelings, that you have set the foundation as more of a friends-with-benefits. It would take time to change the energy between for something more serious,
If you are looking for marriage, ask your happily married friends to help you express your profile information. Be clear that you are looking for Mr./Ms. right to spend the rest of your life with, rather than the end goal of being married to whomever you find that comes reasonably close to what you want in a mate. If you are looking just to be married, with a lack of focus, you are likely to attract people that are unable to offer you what you really desire. Please be clear of your religious beliefs as well as that will help you to automatically rule out anyone that does not mesh spiritually. Please refrain from mentioning if you want kids, as you may find that you lose a lot of traffic to your profile.
Keep your kids and divorce out! You will have plenty of time to share this with someone. This is not the PTA, this is a dating profile. You are an eligible single ready for love, ready to date, and testing the waters of romance. There is plenty of time to talk about kids and to answer questions about previous marriages or pairings.
Do mention one thing that will make you stand out! I climbed K2 in 2016 or I have been riding horses since I was a child. Something that will show your personality.
Please be honest about your age.
NOW ONTO YOUR PICTURES:
Please refrain from:
Pictures with your kids
Photos with your guy/gal pals
Professional pictures with you in a suit or business attire
Your wedding picture with you in your tux or wedding gown (yes! it does happen!)
Pictures where you are showing too much skin. A little mystery is good!
Cheesy selfies in front of million-dollar cars or houses. (Do you want to be liked for you, or your possessions/money?)
Make a peace sign or looking like a player. Even if you ARE looking for a simple hook-up, it turns viewers off. (I have heard this countless times from you!)
Pictures older than 12 months. You want your date to recognize you when you meet!
Pictures that percolate!:
Wearing colors that bring out your vibrancy and your natural energy.
Have your picture professionally taken (if at all possible).
If you want to attract companionship and more of a physical connection full-body pictures are okay. If you want to attract a marital or long-term committed pairing, from the waist up.
Do show pictures of yourself with sunset and sunrises, and frame yourself romantically. Show them your inner radiance.
Less is more, light on the jewelry! Pick a statement piece to represent you.
Which is your best side? Yes, there is a difference! Make sure that you are photographing the side that is the most photogenic.
Smile with your eyes and you will look natural rather than posed with a fake smile.
Okay dear ones! Ready, set, date! You will find the romantic partners you attract give you a much better dating base,.
Thank you for this time together.
I love you and I believe in you.
In Divine Truth and Love,
Welcome to my new and returning readers. It is a joy connecting with you. Thank you for liking, sharing, and favoring.
I received this letter and have modified to conceal the person's identity.
Dear Garden Oracle,
I have an issue that I am not sure how to resolve. My sister-in-law and I have not gotten along since day one, we could not be any more different. She has friended, unfriended, blocked, and unblocked me for years on social media. I have wanted to block her for years, as she will use anything to bully or pick a fight. My brother-in-law is a gentleman and not a game player. She considers herself the queen bee, is the first daughter-in-law, and is vindictive and harsh if she does not like you. Recently, she sent me a message asking me something and it came out of the left field. I answered no, enquiring about her and her husband. No response. Okay, I set it aside. I shared with my spouse that she had unfriended me, sent me this odd message, and they were of no real support other than asking "what have you done now?' Clearly, I am on my own here. She intimidates everyone in the family.
I would have blocked her years ago if I had felt that it would not create a negative ripple for my spouse. I have blocked her on everything now, including my phone. I wish that I never had to talk to, see her, or interact with her again. I would never have chosen to have her in my life. For years now, I have kept my mouth shut, put up with her uppity attitude, and her trivializing my children and me. My kids will not relate to her at all now.
The holidays are nearly here, and I dread having to see her, deal with her, or having her create a SCENE at a family function. I live several hours from her, so if I do go to a gathering, and have to leave, my spouse is put in a very awkward position.
This is the same family that has in nearly 20 years, failed to acknowledge a birthday for me, yet they get a card and a gift from my family every year.
What can I do?
Sick of the Game Playing
Thank you for your letter. I empathize with your situation and thank you for permitting me to publish it.
You are not alone. I have worked with countless clients with the same familial issue. When I am working in the capacity of the officiant, I make the strong point of letting the couple know that their families are marrying, not just the two of them,
You cannot choose your in-laws, it can be such a roll-of-the-dice. Find comfort in the people that you find resonance, and be cordial to the in-laws that you feel shacked to for life.
Firstly, remember that you love your spouse. This is the worse part of the vows. Even though they have left you out in the cold and on your own here (that is a different topic for another day!), detach from what has happened. Focus on the health of your marriage, rather than the very interfering and destructive sister-in-law.
Secondly. this may seem harsh, but don't attend gatherings where she will be unless you have a discussion with your spouse. You want to have someone to run interference. The pandemic has ruled out large family gatherings for at least another 2 years, and that would be the only circumstance in which I would recommend you attend for a short period of time.
Thirdly, please let this stay with you. Do not make your in-laws have to choose between you and her. While the two of you will likely never mesh, do not break up the entire family because of this. More than likely, you are the one out in the cold, as she has been in this family much longer than you.
Lastly, forgive her. I can already hear your mind whirring, "she needs to ask my forgiveness!" Sorry love, you need to forgive her as this sets you free. She harbors animosity for you for whatever reason, that ruins the quality of her life. When you forgive, you are freed from this toxic connection. As I stated earlier, the issue with your spouse not having your back is a deeper problem.
There is no traction or demonstration regarding the support that you need. It is your spouse's role to speak up for you with their family, not yours. You stand up to your family, not your spouse. It is time to assess your marriage, for if support does not show up with this extended family issue, then you are not getting much support at all.
It is time to repair your marriage! I do suggest finding a qualified couples therapist to help the two of you navigate the challenges you have been experiencing. It is of the utmost importance that you have each other's backs, or you are very likely to become little more than roommates.
Thank you for shedding light on this topic, you are not alone.
Have a question for Ask the Garden Oracle? Please fill out the contact form on the website with your question. Please note:
Your letter may be published with modifications to protect your identity. I will let you know when it is being published. You agree by submitting your question to have your letter published.
In Divine Truth and Love,
Welcome to my new and returning readers. It is a joy to connect with you. Thank you for liking, sharing, following, and subscribing.
If you are a psychic or intuitive, the majority of your calls and readings will be positive and sincere individuals, open to what you see, feel, and sense. This is where I set my filters each day, but occasionally one slips through the shield.
When you are working with someone that is mentally ill, there is a tendency for them to bombard you with questions, asking only for "yes that is correct" or "no, it is not."
I have had clients that actually argue with what is being shared, being determined that above all THEY MUST BE RIGHT.
Over the years I have had clients with Dissociative identity disorder (DID), one of them having 12 different personas. They each had a different name, unique personality, and different careers, and ages. One in particular, had one personality pay for the reading, while a different identity did the reading. Each had their own list of concerns.
I have had one client with schizoaffective disorder, one that was rapid cycle bipolar, and some with grandiose delusions I have not counted the Narcissists yet, of which there have been many.
The key and most critical element here is to hold a firm boundary. Start and end your calls on time. There is the attempt to pull you into extra time. Let them know 5 minutes ahead of time when you session will expire. Add them to a list, and schedule them when you are feeling strong, fresh, and able to hold that healthy boundary. Do not be drawn into tales of woe and unhappiness, much of this they brought about on their own. More often than not, their reason for calling in pertains to being locked out of the lives of former friends, and family held hostage. Most certainly, they are off their medications!
Do not be drawn into their dramas or delusions, for there are many! She did this to me, or he did that, or I got fired over nothing! It is, of course, never their fault, they cannot help being the way they are, people just don't love them or want to understand them. You could just as easily be drawn into their circle of blame, shame, guilt, and "it was your fault for not telling me the truth!"
They come with their own agenda, so tread lightly, and answer only what they ask and no more.
DO send out unconditional love and ask for protection from your Guides, Angels, Guardians, Ancestors, and Allies.
Ask that they have protection from themselves as well, and that the people around them could find a way to forgive them, and offer support in the way that was healthiest for all concerned.
Please note, that if anyone gets abusive with you during a reading, that after a fair warning, you have the right to disconnect with no possibility of return. Be strong enough to make this decision when the circumstances call for it. If you are working for a Psychic business that does NOT have your back, stand your ground for the length of time purchased, and remember to not react negatively during the session. Do not give them anything that could be reported back in a negative way regarding the reading.
If you would like a name of companies that I would recommend working for, that do have their readers' backs, I am happy to relay this to you in a non-recorded phone call. There are legal issues that I must be mindful of in advising you.
It is based on direct feedback from actual experience from psychics that I know and have worked with. You would be surprised who tops the list!
I love my work and all of my clients, but when it comes to the challenges? It is a good exercise in holding a healthy boundary and offering real and unconditional love and empathy.
Remember that setting your intention each day helps to keep you grounded regardless of whom comes across your day.
Take each reading as it comes, then fully disconnect.
Thank you for sharing this time together.
I love you and I believe in you.
Remember, It's all about the LOVE.
In Divine Truth and Love,
The Garden Oracle Speaks is a complimentary Intuitive Advice column by Razzi Lentz. Razzi has been claircognizant all of her life, bringing messages of hope and healing through channeled writings and works.